Letting Go

   Oh, where to begin? I guess at the beginning, huh? Ok, Here we go.
   Several months ago, my youngest son, Danny, expressed his desire to go on a church sponsored mission trip to Uganda. I know, awesome, right? Once again, a child of my brood has made me proud. He has expressed his willingness to travel into the unknown, well out of his comfort zone, for the sole purpose of spreading the Gospel and showing the Love of Christ to children in desperate need of hope. As his father I am aglow with the light of satisfaction. I am filled with utter pride that I have raised him so well. I am renewed with a sense of hope in a dark world, because there are still people like him who understand our purpose in this place and on this earth. Well, you know what they say about pride, right? So, it only stands to reason that God would use this experience to test my faith and check my pride at the door.....which He has most definitely accomplished. Here's the scoop.
   A few weeks ago we received word from the church, that some violence has broken out in very close proximity to the village in which Danny will be working. The Founder of the Mission Organization and Pastor of the nearby affiliated Church has had multiple attempts on his life in recent months. His children have been beaten severely, and his church congregation was held hostage at gunpoint. Thankfully, none of these incidents resulted in any deaths, other than the assailants, themselves, as a few of them were killed by returning fire. None of these events occurred in close proximity to any of the mission teams, but still.......a little scary to say the least. My feeling is that the assailants have been hired by groups associated with child slavery and sex trafficking industries, because this Pastor was recently appointed to a government position, overseeing the enforcement of child endangerment laws in Uganda. He is now in government protected custody in an undisclosed, gated and guarded compound with his family. Now, here's the rub.
   The church mission team had a decision to make. Do we move forward with the trip or cancel and go another time? After much discussion and prayer, the trip is still on, and the decision of whether to go or not would be left up to each individual. Anyone under the age of 21 (Danny is 19), would need the approval of both parents, along with signed waivers, life insurance policy, etc. Danny would have to pray for guidance in making this decision, as would Richelle and I.
   After much prayer and thought, Danny felt as though he was being called to this trip very strongly. His decision was made for himself. He would go anyway. Richelle and I would have to come to a consensus, though, and this would take some work.
   I prayed and thought......and thought and prayed......and prayed some more. I asked for counsel from family and friends whom I trusted. And, I wasn't hearing a clear answer. I couldn't discern what my heart was telling me, or separate that from my own head space. I couldn't reconcile my thoughts and feelings from what God was saying. So, I figured I'd wait and see what decision Richelle would arrive at, first. After all, she could make this a very easy decision for me. If her answer is no, I'm off the hook. I wouldn't rule against her wishes. I've been married for 22 years!!! I know better!!!! So I would just step back and wait.
   Richelle went through the same process, and quickly arrived at her answer. She felt The Lord speaking to her very clearly in prayer, and had no reservations at all about her decision. This will make this much easier on me, now.....or so I thought. There I go thinking again! You see, to put this situation in a bit of context, you need to understand some of the emotions Richelle has been dealing with lately. Keep in mind we sent our oldest off to serve in the US Navy just a year ago. And the vacuum that he has left in Richelle's heart since he has been gone, is vast. She struggled for quite some time with his being gone and on his own, not wanting to let go. Given this information, her answer would be clear. Obviously, she would not approve of placing our other son in a potentially dangerous situation on the other side of the world! Yeah,.......WRONG! Not only did she give her blessing, she made it very clear that this was not her decision, but that it was very clearly made for her through prayer. Well, that just threw a monkey wrench in my whole plan!!!
   Now I would have to man up and make my own decision. I was comforted by the fact that Richelle had promised to back me up and support whatever decision I arrived at. So, I got back to it. I went through all of the what ifs, whys and why nots. I hearkened back to some tactical defense training I received many years ago, while in the Navy. I thought about the logistics of getting a dozen Americans out of a village, should rebels come in and threaten violence. I thought about how I would feel, if I gave my blessing and some harm would come to my son. How would I live with that decision? After pondering all of these things, I gave up on myself and decided once again to pray. This, time though, I was very specific, going through all of these same questions through prayerful consideration, instead of my own experiences and fears. My prayers were answered this time, but not the way I thought and hoped they would be. But His guidance was clear. And here is what I arrived at.
   We are always very protective of our children, naturally. It's the human response. It's in our very nature. But it's not always the right thing to do. As believers, we are called to sow the seeds of God's love. We are called to be light to the world. We are called to spread the Gospel to all corners of the earth. As a believer, myself, I needed a reminder of how God protects us all, just as I protect my own. I needed a reminder of the work that God did in our lives and my oldest son, Clayton's life; an incredible transformation unlike anything I have ever seen. But it wasn't until I let go of him and trusted his life to God, that He was able to do His work in Clayton. As hard as we tried to hold on to him and protect him ourselves, we couldn't. But God could. And He did. This was a tough enough lesson to learn the first time around. I don't want to go through it again.
   I feel very strongly, and believe very deeply in the concept, that our children are not ours. Our Children are God's children. He has only entrusted them to us for a short time, here on earth., so that we can raise them in HIS Church, in HIS ways, showing them HIS Love, and teaching them to be HIS disciples. They are merely on loan. God's will for Danny's life is perfect. Whatever it is, however his story ends, it has already been written. In order to be obedient, I must LET GO. I must give God control. I must trust in His perfect will. It's not easy, but faith isn't supposed to be easy. If it was, everyone would already have it.
   Some of you may disagree with our decision, and that's ok. Some of you will think it foolish to send our son to this far away place, given the circumstances, and some have even already vocalized this concern....and that's ok, too. Just know that we have made this call through prayerful consideration, and nothing else. I ask for your prayers for the safety of all involved in this trip. I also ask for your prayers that lives will be transformed, that the Love of Christ will be delivered, and that the Gospel will be spread to those who have never heard it before. I ask for prayers for the protection of Pastor Elijah and his family and for the recovery and safe return of all children in this area, who have been sold into slavery. God will do amazing things in Uganda.......If we let Him.


Thanks for reading, and Thank You in advance for your prayers,


Drew