Letting Go

   Oh, where to begin? I guess at the beginning, huh? Ok, Here we go.
   Several months ago, my youngest son, Danny, expressed his desire to go on a church sponsored mission trip to Uganda. I know, awesome, right? Once again, a child of my brood has made me proud. He has expressed his willingness to travel into the unknown, well out of his comfort zone, for the sole purpose of spreading the Gospel and showing the Love of Christ to children in desperate need of hope. As his father I am aglow with the light of satisfaction. I am filled with utter pride that I have raised him so well. I am renewed with a sense of hope in a dark world, because there are still people like him who understand our purpose in this place and on this earth. Well, you know what they say about pride, right? So, it only stands to reason that God would use this experience to test my faith and check my pride at the door.....which He has most definitely accomplished. Here's the scoop.
   A few weeks ago we received word from the church, that some violence has broken out in very close proximity to the village in which Danny will be working. The Founder of the Mission Organization and Pastor of the nearby affiliated Church has had multiple attempts on his life in recent months. His children have been beaten severely, and his church congregation was held hostage at gunpoint. Thankfully, none of these incidents resulted in any deaths, other than the assailants, themselves, as a few of them were killed by returning fire. None of these events occurred in close proximity to any of the mission teams, but still.......a little scary to say the least. My feeling is that the assailants have been hired by groups associated with child slavery and sex trafficking industries, because this Pastor was recently appointed to a government position, overseeing the enforcement of child endangerment laws in Uganda. He is now in government protected custody in an undisclosed, gated and guarded compound with his family. Now, here's the rub.
   The church mission team had a decision to make. Do we move forward with the trip or cancel and go another time? After much discussion and prayer, the trip is still on, and the decision of whether to go or not would be left up to each individual. Anyone under the age of 21 (Danny is 19), would need the approval of both parents, along with signed waivers, life insurance policy, etc. Danny would have to pray for guidance in making this decision, as would Richelle and I.
   After much prayer and thought, Danny felt as though he was being called to this trip very strongly. His decision was made for himself. He would go anyway. Richelle and I would have to come to a consensus, though, and this would take some work.
   I prayed and thought......and thought and prayed......and prayed some more. I asked for counsel from family and friends whom I trusted. And, I wasn't hearing a clear answer. I couldn't discern what my heart was telling me, or separate that from my own head space. I couldn't reconcile my thoughts and feelings from what God was saying. So, I figured I'd wait and see what decision Richelle would arrive at, first. After all, she could make this a very easy decision for me. If her answer is no, I'm off the hook. I wouldn't rule against her wishes. I've been married for 22 years!!! I know better!!!! So I would just step back and wait.
   Richelle went through the same process, and quickly arrived at her answer. She felt The Lord speaking to her very clearly in prayer, and had no reservations at all about her decision. This will make this much easier on me, now.....or so I thought. There I go thinking again! You see, to put this situation in a bit of context, you need to understand some of the emotions Richelle has been dealing with lately. Keep in mind we sent our oldest off to serve in the US Navy just a year ago. And the vacuum that he has left in Richelle's heart since he has been gone, is vast. She struggled for quite some time with his being gone and on his own, not wanting to let go. Given this information, her answer would be clear. Obviously, she would not approve of placing our other son in a potentially dangerous situation on the other side of the world! Yeah,.......WRONG! Not only did she give her blessing, she made it very clear that this was not her decision, but that it was very clearly made for her through prayer. Well, that just threw a monkey wrench in my whole plan!!!
   Now I would have to man up and make my own decision. I was comforted by the fact that Richelle had promised to back me up and support whatever decision I arrived at. So, I got back to it. I went through all of the what ifs, whys and why nots. I hearkened back to some tactical defense training I received many years ago, while in the Navy. I thought about the logistics of getting a dozen Americans out of a village, should rebels come in and threaten violence. I thought about how I would feel, if I gave my blessing and some harm would come to my son. How would I live with that decision? After pondering all of these things, I gave up on myself and decided once again to pray. This, time though, I was very specific, going through all of these same questions through prayerful consideration, instead of my own experiences and fears. My prayers were answered this time, but not the way I thought and hoped they would be. But His guidance was clear. And here is what I arrived at.
   We are always very protective of our children, naturally. It's the human response. It's in our very nature. But it's not always the right thing to do. As believers, we are called to sow the seeds of God's love. We are called to be light to the world. We are called to spread the Gospel to all corners of the earth. As a believer, myself, I needed a reminder of how God protects us all, just as I protect my own. I needed a reminder of the work that God did in our lives and my oldest son, Clayton's life; an incredible transformation unlike anything I have ever seen. But it wasn't until I let go of him and trusted his life to God, that He was able to do His work in Clayton. As hard as we tried to hold on to him and protect him ourselves, we couldn't. But God could. And He did. This was a tough enough lesson to learn the first time around. I don't want to go through it again.
   I feel very strongly, and believe very deeply in the concept, that our children are not ours. Our Children are God's children. He has only entrusted them to us for a short time, here on earth., so that we can raise them in HIS Church, in HIS ways, showing them HIS Love, and teaching them to be HIS disciples. They are merely on loan. God's will for Danny's life is perfect. Whatever it is, however his story ends, it has already been written. In order to be obedient, I must LET GO. I must give God control. I must trust in His perfect will. It's not easy, but faith isn't supposed to be easy. If it was, everyone would already have it.
   Some of you may disagree with our decision, and that's ok. Some of you will think it foolish to send our son to this far away place, given the circumstances, and some have even already vocalized this concern....and that's ok, too. Just know that we have made this call through prayerful consideration, and nothing else. I ask for your prayers for the safety of all involved in this trip. I also ask for your prayers that lives will be transformed, that the Love of Christ will be delivered, and that the Gospel will be spread to those who have never heard it before. I ask for prayers for the protection of Pastor Elijah and his family and for the recovery and safe return of all children in this area, who have been sold into slavery. God will do amazing things in Uganda.......If we let Him.


Thanks for reading, and Thank You in advance for your prayers,


Drew

Harry Potter and the Half-Naked Breast

  
   Alohomora!


   Hello again all!


   I'd like to preface this post with a little bit of.....navigational aid, if you will. At the bottom of this post, you will find a right facing arrow. If so inclined, this will allow you to scroll back through past posts, that you may find to be of interest. Some are OP-ED style pieces, some are personal, family stories. But all may be of use to you in finding out what makes me Bitter, both in name, and unfortunately, sometimes in disposition. Feel free to explore, share and comment on any of these other posts, as well.
  
   This latest post will be a departure from the family blog. Occasionally, I'll use this site as a vehicle to speak out on current events. This will be such a post. The blog is aptly titled "The Bitter Truth", in that it is sometimes the truth about the Bitters, and sometimes it is The Bitter Truth about the world as I see it. And, yes, it is possible that you may not agree with all that I have to say, and that's okay. It is, in fact, an opinion piece. It is not news, fake or otherwise. I welcome your challenges to my positions, as I believe we are all made better for having open and rational dialogue on these issues. Some of you may believe, in fact, that as a male, I am afforded no opinion whatsoever on this subject. And, that's fine, too. Everyone is entitled to their own views, right? Okay, so with the formalities out of the way, allow me to begin.


   Emma Watson has been in the spotlight recently for a myriad of reasons. As you undoubtedly know, she is portraying the role of Belle in the soon to be released live action Beauty and the Beast film. A lot of excitement and media buzz is on full press leading up to its release. But she has also been in the news for being outspoken about the cause of feminism. Now, she could have used her celebrity to be a wholesome role model to young girls and young women all over the world. In fact, at a younger age, she did just that. She spoke out about the hyper-sexualization of our youth. She spoke out about the world view of provocative dressing of young girls. And she was outspoken about the global problem of human trafficking for the sex trades. All good stuff. But somewhere along the way she took a hard left turn, and is now, through her words and actions, seemingly advocating the complete opposite views on some of these issues. This is a huge disappointment. Let me explain.


   Many of us literally watched Ms. Watson grow up before our very eyes on screen. We watched Hermione Granger grow from an awkward young girl, into a beautiful, smart, and empowered young woman, both on screen and off. Throughout this season in her life, she was a wonderful role model to young girls all over the world. She encouraged them to dress modestly; to reject the world view of sexuality at a young age. Again, all good stuff.


   However, as she entered adulthood, her cause changed. She was now speaking out about the feminist movement. She was now speaking out about the terrible injustices women face in the world, today, particularly in the west. Now, this wouldn't be so bad, either.......if it were true, that is. (Yes, you read that correctly. I'll get to that in a bit.) She became part of a feminist movement that screams and chants and protests at every opportunity, claiming that women are losing their rights, or that they are not treated as equals to men. This same movement has organized marches and protests highlighted by the wearing of vagina costumes, "pussy" hats, and extremely vulgar signage. Language I even found offensive, and I am an old sailor, for crying out loud! Now, while she did seem to distance herself from the fringe; from the Madonnas and Ashley Judds of the movement, she did recently do something that was in complete contradiction to all she claims to believe in. She posed half naked in a magazine so all of us "misogynist" men could ogle at her goodies. She then claimed that her doing so was "empowering" and that it was done so women could see that they were free to view themselves however they wanted. But is that the message that is really being sent? It seems to me, that the message being received may be much different than the one she is trying to send. The once modest and proper Hermione Granger, is now bearing her naked breasts for all the world to see. This isn't empowering. It's promoting voyeurism and pornography. And it's sending a message to young girls that to be famous and relevant, you must do the same. This is quite the departure from her previous stance, wouldn't you say? And what about the timing of the release of these photos? Do you think it is a coincidence that they were released so near the opening day of Beauty and the Beast? I certainly don't. I suspect her publicists and agents encouraged the shoot to begin with, and saw it as an opportunity to create buzz and publicity for their leading lady. After all, the more she's in the spotlight, the more people will go to see the movie. Of course, this is merely conjecture and theory, but I doubt that I'm too far off. So, the real question, then, is what exactly does she hope to achieve in all of this?


   Well, she claims that it is all to advance the cause of women's rights. But I ask you, what rights does this advocate for? What rights are missing in the first place? Can anyone honestly say that women in this country don't have the same rights as men? I welcome specific examples, if you can find any. but you won't. Now, I'm sure I'll hear the typical example of equal pay for equal work, and that's fine, if you actually believe that myth. But you'll find no statistics to back it up. You'll only find talking points from the policy seminars of politicians whose agenda is in line with it to begin with. But no hard evidence of this is out there. Sure, there are undoubtedly some women who are not being paid as much as their male counterparts in some areas of the business world, but the same can be said about men in more feminine roles and industries. It's not the norm or the standard, and it's certainly not an epidemic worthy of the outrage it has sparked. Now, before you get all wound up, I'm all for equal rights for all. I believe that women should be able to do anything they want, to achieve any success they set their eyes on. I'm not a woman hater, a misogynist or any other word used describe those who don't believe in the great feminism myths in our current climate. But ask yourself these questions, before you cast your dispersion.Where is the outrage for the women of the middle eastern nations under sharia? Where is the outrage for the young girls whose genitals are mutilated at a young age. Where is the outrage for the women who are not permitted to drive a car, go to school, have a job? What about the women who live in cultures that encourage marriage at the age of 7, 8, or 9, and where marital rape at any age is acceptable? Where are the protests for the women of the Arab world who require 3 to 4 male witnesses in order to make an accusation of sexual assault?


   Here's the deal. These so-called western feminists are just loud mouthed hypocrites. They scream for women's rights from one side of their mouths, while crying about the poor middle eastern Muslim refugees from the other side. Many of the refugee populace they advocate for, are the same people who commit the atrocious acts I listed above. So, which is it?


   Do they really believe that screaming profanities at a protest is the way to get their point across? Do they not see the obvious conflicts of interest in their cause? Have you or anyone you know, honestly changed your mind about any subject because a celebrity in a vagina costume said so? I doubt it. So, what, then are we to make of our beloved Hermione Granger and her most recent "statement"?


   My hope is that eventually, she will take a step back and see that her little stunt is causing more harm to the little girls and young women of the world, than good. But, what's done is done. It is up to the parents of these children to combat what society deems acceptable. So I say this...


   Mothers, talk to your daughters about their true value, and where it resides. Let them know that their value is in who they are, not what they weigh or what they wear. Let them know that they don't need to be a sexual being in Middle school, in order to find love and acceptance. Teach them that purity is not only acceptable, but should be their only consideration.
   Fathers, date your daughters. Show them the standard by which they should judge all future suitors. Show them through your good example, how they should expect to be treated by any man who will ever vie for their affections. Be the standard that sets the bar high. Teach your sons to be proper gentlemen. Show them the value of a woman's heart and soul, and how to cherish them and respect them enough to suppress their own physical desires. Teach them, also, that purity is not a scar on their reputation, but rather a badge of honor and courage. Show them the way a woman is to be treated, in the way you treat your wife. And finally, teach your children to seek out role models who display all of these same values and virtues. Only then, will we see a new generation of young women who respect themselves enough to not pose half naked in a magazine. Only then will true feminism be on display. And only then, will equality truly be realized. But what do I know? I'm just your average, ordinary male.
   As always, I welcome your comments, but will not reply in kind to vitriol and venom. Polite, adult conversation is always encouraged.


Thanks for reading,


Colloportus!


Drew Bitter

Mr. Bitter Goes to Washington

   Hello all! It's been a while. I have certainly wanted to jump into the political climate debates and commentary for quite some time, but I have decided some things are best left unsaid. So, Instead, I thought I'd take this opportunity to spend a little time lifting up a certain young man you all may have heard of.
   In past posts, I've detailed some trials and tribulations of my eldest son, Clayton. I've spent a great deal of time on social media, singing his praises. I've also spent a bit of time gloating about the younger son Danny's latest role or his most recent vocal performance. But both of these young men are unique in their own ways, and I felt it necessary to explain Danny a little more. Now, you may be rolling your eyes and saying under your breath, "oh, here he goes again, bragging on his kids!" Yeah, you'd be right. So if you want to bail now, feel free to do so. But I will make no apologies for highlighting the amazing things this young man has already accomplished at the young age of 18. He deserves it. He's worked really hard for a long time. He deserves that recognition.
   Let's do it this way. Imagine you are an employer, looking to hire a bright new face. You're looking for someone who is smart, has a great work ethic, is a self starter, is genuine, truthful and virtuous. You hope to find an individual who is not afraid to "go for it". Your ideal candidate possesses not only the ability to be creative, but also the talent to express these ideas well in a public forum. Ideally, although you can't exclude others, you secretly want to hire a fellow Christian, strong in faith, principle and practice. This is someone, who you could always count on to do the right thing, even when it doesn't benefit them, personally. If you could pick the perfect person to fill this role, they would have a resume to back up the skill set required for this position. "No way I could find someone like that", you may think to yourself. However, you'd be wrong. These folks do exist, even among the millennial generation's sea of unqualified, over-educated, entitled masses.
   Contrary to popular belief, some of us GENXers, are still actually RAISING our children. We're not all leaving this task for the schools and daycare centers to do. Those who have a vested interest in raising their own children in a Christian home, know that the fruits of this labor can be an incredible blessing. Let us begin, shall we?
   At the young age of 6 years old, Danny became the youngest Black Belt in US Tae Kwon Do history. This was highlighted by several local news stories and even garnered an invitation from the Dave Letterman show. We ultimately declined this invitation, because it would have excluded his older brother, who had also earned this honor.
   Beginning in Elementary school and throughout his entire school life, Danny maintained straight A grades, even while participating in extracurricular activities, which he often led. He also became involved in his church youth group and went to King's Kids Camp each summer. In Middle school, following in his older brother's footsteps, Danny became involved in the choir program. This carried on into High School.
   By the time his high school years began, Danny had transitioned into becoming a counselor at the camp every year, where he mentored younger children, ministered to them, and in many cases, helped them to make their first ever decision to follow Christ. Still a member of his Church's Youth Group, he participated in many other outreach programs, volunteering his precious little spare time for charitable causes. Still maintaining his grades, he got involved in the high school choir department. He was a member of the Mixed Concert Choir, Men's Ensembles and Show Choir. He was a member all four years and as a Senior, was named student Director of the Department. As a senior, while attending a National Festival and Competition in Los Angeles CA, Danny was presented with the National Ovation Award, which is only given to one student, nationwide, each year. Over the course of his choral career, he earned multiple awards and was named as an Alternate in the Missouri All - State Choir.
   He was also very involved in the Drama Club, both as a member and as the Student Board President. As an actor, he earned the lead roles in several of the Schools productions, including musicals. Even though he was busy with rehearsals and the business of his Presidential duties, not to mention his choral commitments, he still maintained his grade point average, and even held down a part time job. Early in his Senior year, he felt compelled to become a voice for the arts, as the School Board was trying to pass a proposition for various funding and budget items. Fearing the arts may be the target of possible budget cuts, he attended several school board meetings and spoke on behalf of the student artists in the district. This garnered local newspaper and TV coverage, where he was recognized for his efforts. This publicity got the attention of the Missouri delegation of a National Arts Advocacy Group, who ultimately chose him to lead a delegation in the State Capital, where he spoke to state congressional members, concerning the necessity of funding the arts in Missouri's schools. Later , he would be named to lead the student delegation from Missouri, to our Nation's Capital in Washington D.C., where he would speak to U.S. Senate and House members about increasing federal funding for the arts.
   To cap off his high school career, Danny gave a commencement address at graduation ceremonies. He graduated in the top 7% of his class, earning him numerous scholarships for academics, choir and theatre.
   Today, Danny is finishing up his freshman year at the University of Southeast Missouri. He is double majoring in Music Education and Political Science. This summer, as always, he will be a counselor at King's Kids Camp. He will also be taking a mission trip to Uganda, with members of his church, where he will lead a new group of God's children in worship and song. And, as always he will work at his part time job, whenever he has the time.
   So, there's the resume. I'm sorry, but it is impressive. This young man seeks to excel in everything he does. But that's not the point of this post.
   Raising our kids in a fallen, dirty world is no easy task. Richelle and I are certainly proud of our kids.....OBVIOUSLY. But we didn't do this on our own. I hate to use this phrase, because of the political figures attached to it, but I must. It takes a village to raise a child. Although it's a tad cliché, nonetheless, it is true. Without outside influences, you'll never be able to do it alone. Where the rubber meets the road, however, is in the choosing of those influences. Who will you allow to be their influences? Their role models? Their leaders? Their teachers? Each and every one of these choices are critical. I'll not take credit for a conscious decision in each and every one of these categories. In fact, we sort of fell into most of them. Some would say we lucked out. But it's much deeper and much more spiritual than that. Many of our children's influences came directly from involvement in the church and participation in ministry. While we made church a priority in our kids' lives, they were the ones who immersed themselves in the ministry. They were influenced by pastors, elders, fellow youth group members and leaders, etc. This kept them focused on their faith, and their roles as children of God and as followers of Jesus. While Richelle and I had spent a great portion of our lives apart from God, our kids were raised in the church. They knew the right path at an early age, and only due to God's providence and Grace, they were able to stay on that path. Of course they have wandered and stumbled, as we all do. But through accountability from their Christian peers and leaders, coupled with scriptural reinforcement and reassurance from us, they always right the ship. Richelle and I are far from perfect parents. Most of the time we were just winging it. And, we made more mistakes than we can count. But a decision we made when the boys were very young, assured us that we would not be on our own. We made a decision for Christ. Then, we gave our boys to Him.....fully. The way we saw it, they weren't really ours in the first place. They were His. He had entrusted them to us to bring them up in His ways. We owed it to Him to make sure they were surrounded by those who would help to guide them along that narrow path.
   THAT is the point of this post. No matter how bad it looks out there in the world; no matter how dreary and devoid of decency and moral compass; there are those who will come alongside you in any journey, and help guide you, if you are only willing to give HIM the wheel. Our children are who they are, not because of me or Richelle, but because of God's Grace. What a blessing!!!!


Oh, and Danny.....you're a freaking Rock Star!!!! So proud of all you are and of all you have done!!!!




Thanks for Reading,
Drew